Most Needed Update: Part One

What an insane 4 months it has been since we last updated! Our life is so different now than what we wrote about in our first blog post. In order to even begin, we need to go back to the weekend of July 16th and 17th.

After being back in Bellingham for about a week, we decided to go back to Vancouver to visit everyone. It was the Portland International Beerfest on Saturday, and my aunt and uncle, Janet and John, came over to enjoy the beerfest with me and Eric, Mark, Gary and Patti, and some of our friends. Me, Eric, and Gary went to the driving range (my first time ever) and hit a bucket of balls before we went to the beerfest. Patti didn't feel up to going once we got back, so Eric, Mark, Gary, and I left for my grandparent's house to pile into my aunt and uncle's Yukon.

We had an awesome time at the beerfest. Lots of beer and hanging out with family and friends made Eric and I extremely happy with our new life that weekend. I was so happy that my family and Eric's family got along so well, and that our friends fit right in too. We ended the night at Deschutes Brewery in the Pearl District and finished the night drinking more beer and eating hot wings.

The next day Gary and Patti took us golfing at a golf course by their house. We played scramble style--Patti and I were on a team, and Eric and Gary were on a team. I can't even remember who won--it was a perfect day, and I felt like such a part of the Evans family. Eric and I ended up staying late Sunday night to have dinner with Uncle Tony--we didn't leave until 7:30, which, with a four-hour drive ahead of us, was highly unusual. We said our goodbyes, and drove away. My heart was filled with love for the family I had entered just three short weeks before, and excitement for the future years to come with them.

During July I was ferociously trying to find a job--somewhere, ANYWHERE. I applied from Bellingham to Salem, OR, all up and down the I-5 corridor. By the end of July, I was to have a job interview of August 4th at the school I did my student teaching at in Mount Vernon. Eric and I decided to stay in Bellingham, so we found an amazing apartment overlooking the bay. It was right in downtown Bellingham on Railroad Ave, two seconds away from the Farmer's Market, Boundary Bay Brewery, and all the other Bellinghamster things we love. Mark came up on July 30th to help up move into our new, amazing apartment. We went bar-hopping, hung out, and spent some quality time with our dear brother.

August began and we spent two days in our new apartment before our lives began unrecognizable. On August 3rd, Eric came storming in after his dentist appointment and said these words I will never forget:

"My dad's boat is missing."

Gary and Tony, as well as a family friend named Pete, left for a fishing trip on Sunday, July 31st, in British Columbia, Canada. They were fishing off the coast of Vancouver Island when their boat never came back on Monday, August 1st. We didn't know for two whole days that they were missing. Imagine our shock that we hadn't heard anything on the news, living less than an hour away from the Canadian border. Through a complicated path, Patti was finally informed, and thus informed Eric of what was happening. Eric and I were preparing dinner for Mitch, Emily, and Chelsea that night, and we dropped everything, packing in a panic, for the unknown amount of time we would be spending in Vancouver. I called my bestie and bridesmaid Rachel, who I asked to drop off my homework for me, dropped off my homework at her house, and we left for the longest 4-hour trip we'd ever had home.

I can't tell you if there was traffic, what the weather was like--my emotions flipped from hopeful to worst case scenario at least a dozen times. Because there was so little information we knew, Eric and I talked the situation to death. We arrived home, and there was no new news. Thus began the longest three days of our lives, waiting, Waiting for anything new, and each day that passed there wasn't anything. I never imagined being contacted by the media for anything, but we were. Canadian newspapers, The Oregonian, The Columbian--we tried to keep their names out of papers for as long as we could, but it didn't last long. We had to call Gary's work and inform his co-workers and boss that he wouldn't be back to work on Monday because his whereabouts were unknown.

On Thursday, August 4th, Gary's best friend Jar showed up on our doorstep. He took charge of everything--making sure we were fed, had something to do, etc. I was trying to finish my research paper for my Master's, but I could never get too into it. I of course informed the college of what was happening, and got an extension for the second time. Nothing came about until August 7th, the day before Gary's 55th birthday. Jar received a phone call and went outside. He was out there for what seemed like an hour--and he came in, asking us to gather round.

"They found the boat, upside down, but they didn't find them."

The facts unraveled over the next 24 hours--all the lifejackets were found on board, the divers didn't find anything, the coastline was searched over by the Mounties. All signs pointed to the four men--Gary, Tony, Pete, and the guide of the boat, Kevin--perishing at sea. On the 8th, all of the Evans came up to Vancouver to celebrate Gary's birthday. It was the first time seeing Tony and Gary's mom, Granny, and their brothers, as well as all of their nieces and nephews. It was a bittersweet celebration, knowing what lay ahead for our family.

One thing Eric and I learned during this time was that we have amazing friends. Mitch and Emily came down to Vancouver and stayed with us many days and nights, Derek came up from Eugene and stayed with us for a week, I was in constant phone contact with Rachel and Chelsea, and Eric and I both received many texts and messages offering prayers and thoughts. Eric's work sent food to the house from one of their partners in the Portland area. He was allowed to have two and a half weeks off of work, with pay. We wouldn't have survived this without our friends.

It was a long two weeks getting all of the affairs in order. We had a celebration of life for Gary on August 20th, 2010. I don't know how many times I heard about what a good guy he was, which I knew. I just didn't realize how many lives he had smiled in. His friends and neighbors helped us out with everything--we had enough food to last for weeks afterward. On August 22nd, we attended the celebration of life for Pete. Eric and I didn't know him, but our hearts were all broken from the same situation--it felt as if we'd known them always.

By the time September 18th rolled around, the final celebration of life for both Gary and Tony, our lives were not only changed in familial structure--we were on a different life path than we had ever planned for ourselves. We could only have faith that God knew best for us, and that what was happening had been in His plan all along.